Chapter 187
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At my words, Mika’s face crumples as if holding something back, until finally, she breaks down sobbing uncontrollably.
「Mika…」
All I can do is hand her my handkerchief and wait for her to stop crying.
「Please don’t cry so much.」
The handkerchief I gave her quickly becomes heavy with tears.
I wonder what I would have done back then, in a moment like this.
All I can do now is wait for her to calm down.
During that time, my mind keeps spinning in circles with thoughts that lead nowhere.
After a while, Mika manages to hold back her tears, though she’s still hiccupping. Even so, occasional large tears still roll down her cheeks.
「Take your time to calm down. Just listen to what I have to say, okay?」
Mika nods repeatedly at my words.
「I told this to Angie too, but we can never go back to how things were back then.
Even so, if we can accept each other, I think it would be good if we could settle everything and build a new relationship, one step at a time.」
These are my honest feelings right now.
I know I’ll continue to remember those days, and similarly, they’ll remember what they did. The path ahead won’t be easy.
But unlike with Angelica—
「Well, that’s what I wanted to say. Looking forward to it.」
Mika grasps my outstretched hand with both of hers, as if trying to confirm something. As if seeking warmth.
With tear-filled eyes, she looks at me and opens her mouth.
「Ichiro.」
She calls my name.
「I… about you—」
That moment seems to stretch into eternity.
「About me?」
「No—」
Mika lowers her eyes and,
「It’s… nothing.」
She shakes her head two or three times as if trying to shake something off.
「More importantly, it will take about a month for the nation and church to finish cleaning up after the Sealed Domain. You might have heard from Lord Anon and Purume, but once all the cleanup is done, by national order, they’ll be summoning the members of the former Hero party.」
As Low, I no longer need to turn myself in.
The people who know my true identity would keep quiet if I asked them to.
But more than that—
「You’re going to respond to that summons, right? What will you do after that’s over?」
I couldn’t help but ask. The resignation I sense from her probably has to do with this.
「I’m thinking of going to a secluded monastery at the northernmost edge of the world.」
Though I had some expectations, the words 「northernmost edge」 leave me speechless.
「Sir Yamada is such a kind person. To forgive us after everything we did… But atoning for our sins doesn’t end just because we’ve been forgiven.」
「But I said it’s okay—」
「I can’t forgive myself.」
Her clear voice, though not particularly loud, cuts off my attempt at persuasion.
「Sir Yamada, you are too kind.
Being by your side was always warm, you were like sunshine itself.」
Mika gives a faint smile.
「If, as you say, I were to be forgiven and return to normal life, the weight of my sins that bears down on my heart would eventually fade away without my noticing.」
I notice there’s something like determination behind her smile. But what can I do? Would it be shallow to just follow my emotions and ask her not to go?
「To rest in peace, occasionally meet with you, chat happily, enjoy the sweets you make, laugh together about trivial things like we used to, and sometimes, like before, explore together, watching each other’s backs as we faced danger—」
She must be remembering our time together from back then. Those moments were irreplaceable treasures for both of us.
「Ah, how happy I would be if we could do that.」
However, in the end, our conversation remains at an impasse.
Me, accepting her apology, and Mika, unable to forgive herself.
I couldn’t change her determination.
She will go to the monastery and spend her life there. And I will continue living at Hidden Mountain.
From now on, our lives will never intersect again.
Just thinking about this brings a sharp pain to my chest.
Is this pain also something I must bear?
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After leaving Mika’s luxury lodgings, I wander aimlessly until I run into Ash. Upon noticing me, she immediately runs over and pats me all over, checking if I’m okay.
Despite her behavior, she tells me that the preparations for celebrating the conquest of the Sealed Domain are already complete, and apparently, this celebration will be a major event for the entire town. Of course, all the expenses will be covered by the Guild and Lord Boldaf.
While listening to her explanation, I let Ash drag me along. Our destination is the largest restaurant in town.
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