Chapter 139
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「Saint Mika, wake up.」
The girl’s consciousness rises, lifted by a solemn yet warm voice.
As she awakens, the girl realizes she’s sitting on a bed in a familiar inn room.
Where am I? she wonders to herself.
「This is within your heart.」
She senses a presence beside her.
There sits a woman with a gentle, serene, and beautiful face. Strangely, though, the girl can’t recognize who she is. Even though the woman is clearly there, it’s as if a frosted glass has been placed over her brain. No matter how many times she tries to remember, she can’t figure out who this person is.
Mika isn’t even sure if the presence was there all along and she just didn’t notice, or if it suddenly appeared.
More importantly, Mika murmurs a question:
「Inside my… heart?」
「Yes, I’ve used the bond between us to guide your soul, which had left your body, back to this place.」
The voice is warm and full of kindness.
From before her death, she has always felt a warm presence within her heart.
She’s certain that the person sitting next to her on the bed is that same presence.
「…」
「You have a troubled expression.」
Even though she can’t see who the beautiful woman is, the girl understands.
「Your expression is understandable.」
The voice conveys genuine compassion.
「Lady Crater… why did you bring me back?」
The girl’s memories beyond a certain point are completely shattered due to various factors. In the worst parts, two memories overlap or are rewritten in a way that seems far beyond human capability.
However, having broken her yoke and removed her shackles, she has regained her freedom of thought. Because of this, she can grasp the unnatural situation and strive to think calmly.
「I should have just disappeared.」
What was right and what was wrong?
「I wanted to disappear.」
About him. About the Hero. About herself.
Who did what, and who had what done to them?
She could understand almost all of it.
No, she had come to understand.
「I didn’t want to live anymore.」
Once she started pouring out her feelings, she couldn’t stop.
「I’m a shallow and ugly woman. Even now, that’s true.
Even at this point, while saying I want to disappear, I’m still thinking about how I could go back to that day, trying to escape reality.」
The space they’re in now is an inn from her memory—her heart.
For the girl, that place (by his side) was the only place that mattered.
It was a place, a day, a moment she could never return to.
—After we conquer the dungeon tomorrow, there’s something I want to tell you.
There were feelings she wanted to convey.
Even knowing her position and situation, it was a wish she couldn’t give up.
She remembered meeting him again in the Sealed Dungeon.
Next to him, who was smiling awkwardly at their jeers, there were already new members.
That place—by his side—was supposed to be hers and hers alone.
Or so she thought—
「But now, no matter what, things can never go back to how they were.」
She knew these words were pathetic and self-serving.
She knew that dwelling on those times and regretting was pitiful and, above all, ugly. Yet she could no longer stop herself.
「You shouldn’t disappear in a place like this.
Until now, you’ve saved countless lives and hearts. Everyone knows of your achievements.」
The warm voice declares.
「I—」
As the girl tries to argue, the voice interrupts her.
「If you disappear, many people will be sad.
And more importantly, don’t you still have things you need to do?」
Even if many people would be sad, it’s all the same once you’re gone.
Everything would end. Just like that.
She didn’t mind that at all.
「Lady Crater. I’ve committed an unforgivable sin. There’s no way I can face reality anymore.」
Sometimes, facing reality is the cruelest thing of all.
「So, even after recognizing your sin, you intend to leave this world without atoning?」
In response to the girl’s words, the beautiful woman—Crater, the main deity of the Crater Church—gives her a stern look.
「If you truly recognize your sin and want to atone, you don’t need to beg for forgiveness from others.」
These words are not just empty platitudes.
「If you want to atone for the pain you’ve caused him, you shouldn’t run away.」
Crater won’t let the girl choose the easy way out.
「Don’t run away. Face it with all your might.」
The girl notices the true kindness behind the strict gaze directed at her.
「Face yourself, face him.」
This strictness was the only way to save everything.
「And without begging for forgiveness, without seeking forgiveness—」
Facing reality is the cruelest and most difficult thing of all.
「Just keep atoning for the past. This path will be thorny for you.
Sometimes you might remember your past self and feel like fading away. Other times, you might get hurt along the way and think you should have run away back then.」
Without begging for forgiveness, without seeking forgiveness.
Just following your heart, endlessly.
It’s something akin to eternity.
「Can I really do something like that?」
The girl, who had already strayed far from her path, had not an ounce of confidence.
「I have no confidence… I’m scared of myself, thinking what if I stray from the path again…」
Crater chuckles softly.
「If those feelings truly come from your heart, then I, who have been within your heart all this time, will always be there to support you as your mother, sister, and friend.」
The main deity Crater, her jet-black hair swaying, embraces the girl.
「I… I…」
Tears stream down the girl’s cheeks.
What she had been holding back finally spills over.
「It’s okay, Saint Mika—no, Mikaela, the one who inherited the name of Saint Mika. Here, I’ve been talking not to you as Saint Mika, but to you as Mikaela, a single human being.」
The main deity Crater pats the girl—Mikaela’s back gently, as if soothing a baby.
「You’ve been through so much hardship until now. And from now on, even greater suffering may befall you. So just for now, I will comfort you not as Saint Mika, but as just Mikaela, and reward you for your efforts.」
At the words of Crater, the main deity, Mikaela feels tears flowing endlessly, naturally.
「You’ve done well until now.」
Crater’s words are filled with deep emotion.
And then, in a voice too quiet for Mikaela to hear:
「I will continue to watch over you, hoping for the day when you can forgive yourself and be forgiven by him.」
She whispered these words softly.
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