Interlude 4
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With only two years left until entering the Royal Arcana Academy, I find myself grappling with uncertainty about my future, unable to confide in anyone.
This story takes place on a certain day, a little over two years since I started working as a live-in employee at the tavern.
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「You idiot!!!」
Upon returning from an errand, I witness a man bowing his head, pleading for money, and an angry tavern owner.
「Dad, I’m sorry! Please do something! Help me! Otherwise, they’ll take me away!」
The man rubs his head against the ground, apologizing profusely.
「How did this happen?!」
The owner’s question is valid.
The owner’s wife, wiping her hands on her apron, also approaches.
「I don’t know either!!」
「There’s no way you don’t know!! You foolish son!!」
As the owner raises his voice, the trembling son begins to recount his story.
「About a year ago, I followed my senior to a gambling den. I won big that day. I thought I had a knack for gambling.」
His story is nothing more than the typical downfall of a good-for-nothing.
In his tale, he repeatedly uses phrases like 「I’m different from the others」 and 「I should have won.」
I’ve heard these phrases countless times from customers at the tavern.
Many patrons who come to the tavern get carried away when drunk. They often act as if they’ve become superior beings.
When a child like me is present in such situations, most drunk customers try to impart some wisdom to me by sharing an interesting story.
The last time the topic of gambling came up, I heard a story that went something like this:
『The house always wins.』
『That’s an absolute truth.』
『Losers completely forget that fact.』
『That’s why they lose.』
『Besides, they only remember their wins vividly, forgetting their losses.』
『They think they can win next time to make up for it.』
『It’s not that easy, though.』
『But they convince themselves it is.』
『So idiots always think they can recover their losses.』
『Not only that, they intend to win big even after returning what they owe.』
『Gradually, their bets and debts increase.』
『Before they know it, they’re deep in trouble.』
『They can no longer keep up with the payments.』
『Well, that’s my own story, though.』
The son’s story is almost identical to this one, as if he were possessed.
「So, how much debt do you have?」
She probably thought it could still be managed somehow after hearing the story, but…
「…Fifty gold coins.」
「F-fifty?!」
The owner’s wife’s eyes widen in shock.
「I didn’t mean for this to happen! I was seriously training in cooking! From early morning to late at night! Even after the chef went to sleep, I kept practicing! I worked hard!」
The son’s excuses ring hollow. Stunned by the immense amount, both the owner and his wife stand frozen in place.
◇◇◇
And then───the worst-case scenario that I thought would never happen became a reality.
I knew they wouldn’t take no for an answer.
「Ann, you have fifty gold coins, right? Could you lend them to us?」
「We apologize for this!」
The owner’s wife and the owner bow their heads to me.
When I previously mentioned my desire to attend school, they asked, 「How will you pay for the tuition and expenses until graduation?」
I told them that I had a pouch of gold coins, my precious savings that I had never touched, even if it meant starving, by cutting back on carriage rides and food expenses.
They remembered that conversation.
When my two benefactors bow their heads to me, there’s no way I can refuse.
But───but what should I do if I hand over this money?
Magic and I are inseparable.
Ever since I was born, I have lived with magic.
In all my memories, I have always been with magic.
「We will definitely return the money, no matter how long it takes.」
「Ann, you have a talent for magic, don’t you?」
「I’ve heard from customers too. Something about the ‘defective red hair’ of the Honest family.」
「Yes, that’s it!! That’s what I heard!」
「In the first place, you say that no matter how much you train, you can’t use magic properly because you’re defective!」
I never ridicule cooking.
It’s their life’s work and a part of their lives.
How can someone treat something so important to others so lightly?
「Well then, this is the perfect opportunity. Give up on magic! I’ll teach you cooking, and in the future, how about inheriting this tavern?」
As if it were a predetermined path, the owner and his wife proceed with the conversation without seeking my agreement.
「That’s a great idea! If you’re worried about repayment, we can write a contract stating that the tavern will be yours after we retire!」
They no longer consider my feelings.
「That’s right! Marry our foolish son! Please do that! If you help make this tavern thrive, we won’t have to worry either!」
Magic is an essential component of my identity.
I feel like I’m cutting a part of myself.
Magic and I are inseparable, no matter what.
Why can’t they understand that?
No, that’s not it.
Why don’t they even try to understand a little bit───
「Knowing when to give up on yourself is an important part of life, you know?」
───Giving up.
Perhaps they’re right.
What I needed was to give up.
What matters is my resolve───the decision lies within my heart.
「I understand. I will give you the gold coins.」
「Ah, well, about the repayment───」
They probably want to say that I can’t repay it right away, or even that they’ll give me the tavern in the future to cancel the debt. I don’t need to hear it anymore.
「No repayment is necessary at all.」
I take out the pouch of gold coins from my magic bag.
It has a substantial weight.
The weight of my dreams.
「Wait, wait! We’re not asking you to give us the money!」
The owner hurriedly says.
「But if I can’t use it for school tuition, it’s the same as not having the money for me.」
「But…」
At this rate, their son and tavern will be taken as collateral for the debt.
So even though they know it’s the money I’ve saved and never used, they won’t retract their request to borrow it.
「It doesn’t matter.」
I smile and say it’s okay, and they also sigh in relief, chuckling, 「Sorry about this.」
This is my way of repaying their kindness for saving my life.
I was able to properly return the favor.
So───this is goodbye.
「Thank you for the porridge back then.」
My life was saved, but I’m always alone, no matter what.
My world is always just me.
「Thank you for everything up until now.」
This is my final farewell to them.
I repeat the things I need to say, as if completing a task.
「Thank you very much.」
I think they might have said something, but I no longer know anything.
「Goodbye.」
I bid them farewell.
◇◇◇
At this moment, I desperately wished for someone to be by my side.
Someone, please step into my world.
If I could scream, I wanted to let it all out.
Since leaving the Honest household, I had a vague understanding that stepping into someone else’s world meant sharing their values.
For example, the bond between parent and child.
They cherish each other based on the shared belief that they are important to one another.
It’s the same with lovers.
Because they have common values, they recognize and respect each other’s worlds, invite each other into their own worlds, and love each other.
It applies to fellow students as well.
If there are people who study together, they can be good friends and worthy rivals by exchanging their wisdom and knowledge based on shared values.
Hopefully───
I couldn’t help but wish───
I wished that someday, I would meet such a person.
◇◇◇
Through two years of living as a commoner, I had gained some wisdom.
In conversations with tavern customers, the topic of the adventurers’ guild had come up several times.
They said that there were odd jobs available there.
It’s always daunting to abandon security and leap into a new place. It was the same two years ago. I encouraged myself and knocked on the guild’s door.
Perhaps because it was noon, there were few people in the guild.
Approaching the counter where a young woman sat, I was about to say,
「Excuse me, it’s my first time here───」
At that moment, a clear voice rang out,
「Well, well, if it isn’t the young lady from the Honest family.」
「Sorry, sorry, I didn’t come here to be sarcastic.」
Turning towards the voice, I saw a beautiful elf.
「Oh, we’ve met a few times at the tavern, but you might not remember me.」
How could I forget someone so beautiful?
I recalled serving her as a customer several times.
「───You knew who I was?」
「『Knew?』 You’re a celebrity. Anyone even slightly familiar with the mage community knows about you.」
「The red-haired girl, said to have the same hair color as the wise one who saved the world alongside the Hero long ago. Everyone knows about you.」
I couldn’t read her intentions.
Did she approach me to belittle me?
Or did she think she could use me because of my family background?
「Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’ve known about you for a while. Actually, I’ve been waiting for the right moment to talk to you since you started working at the tavern.」
Sighing and muttering, 「Finally,」 she continues.
「Pardon me. I’m Purume En Dynast, the Guildmaster of the guild in the city ahead.」
「I’m Angelica.」
I didn’t mention my family name.
「I finally got the chance to talk to you. I’ve been asking the tavern couple for permission to speak with you countless times, but they always said, ‘Ann will be our daughter-in-law in the future!’ and ‘It’s better for Ann to forget about magic!’」
As if you would ever give up on magic, she spits out.
「Why───」
Why did you approach me? I couldn’t say it out loud.
「It’s because of who you will become in the future.」
She answers, reading my thoughts.
「Me…?」
「Yes, you.」
「Why?」
「Why? It’s just my ‘intuition.’」
「I’m just someone who can’t even use intermediate magic───」
「Just what? Were you going to say you’re defective?」
「Sorry, no, no, that’s not what I meant to say,」 she waves her hand in front of her face.
「A girl with the Wise One’s skill and mana rivaling that of a Saint, said to have the greatest potential in history. She continued her grueling training without relying on her talent───」
The training was excruciatingly painful, but I still enjoyed a life where I could freely train and think only about magic.
「However, perhaps due to her defect, she was exiled from her family. Even now, that girl continues her relentless training in this city, far from her family.」
By this time, controlling the mana within my body had become a constant, whether I was awake or asleep.
Everything was for my future self, whenever that day would come.
「As they say, ‘mana control is the result of training.’ Mana control can become increasingly precise with training. However, unlike long-lived elves, humans with limited lifespans hit a certain limit in mana control. Do you know why?」
「Why is that?」
「It’s because it’s an extreme form of asceticism. When someone with a certain level of control further trains, they experience excruciating pain and exhaustion. Few can endure it.」
Therefore, she continues.
「Most mages stop training under the pretext that precise control isn’t necessary for using intermediate magic.」
She says 「pretext」 in a mocking tone.
But I also think it’s okay.
The gap between elementary and intermediate magic is so vast that even ten shots of elementary magic can be nullified by a single intermediate spell.
At this point, I suddenly thought that if I could use intermediate magic, I might be able to fire it in rapid succession.
No, no, if I could use advanced magic, I could rapid-fire advanced spells───but such a notion may be inconceivable to anyone but me.
「I saw you once when you were ten years old. When I visited the Honest main house and witnessed the barrage of elementary magic you unleashed in the training ground, I trembled from the bottom of my heart.」
It’s nothing special.
It’s just elementary magic, after all.
In fact, even my relatives and family members turned up their noses at it.
「Don’t take it the wrong way. The current members of the Honest family are all fools. How many people in this world can do the same thing as you?」 Purume continues.
It sounded like a monologue, as if her inner passion was spilling out uncontrollably.
「I can see it. The exceptionally coordinated mana lines running through every corner of your body.」
Why can’t those Honest idiots see it? She shakes her head.
「Only being able to use elementary magic───in other words, that’s your only bottleneck. Your talent and charm remain undiminished.」
Although Purume gave off a somewhat clever and cold impression, her words conveyed the warmth, understanding, and appreciation for my efforts that I had longed for the most.
「In the end, I’m just a lowly Guildmaster. There’s little I can do, but I can still provide an environment for you to grow.」
So, she continues.
「Will you come with me?」
She extends her hand.
She believes in my success.
Mana capacity. Training. Mana control.
No matter how much she cites the basis for success, didn’t she say it at the beginning?
It’s all based on her 「intuition.」
Then I will also trust Purume.
Following my own 「intuition.」
「Please take care of me.」
I firmly grasp Purume’s outstretched hand.
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