Situations are ever-changing entities. Huh? Not “things”? No, entities. It’s like “people”. They grow, deteriorate, do good things, or head in a bad direction without us noticing. And before I knew it, I was caught up in it. To think I’d be in the midst of a chaotic battlefield. It never occurred to me, being spoiled by peace and always staying behind everyone else.
And now, my true worth was being tested here and now.
It’s just another day in my prison life. Hello, it’s Shuri here. It’s been almost a week since Aeclys came. Recently, neither Garn nor Aeclys have been visiting. Moreover, even the person who brings my meals has changed and doesn’t say a word. The food hasn’t changed either. It’s as plain as ever.
“Well, I guess I’ve finally run out of the seasonings I had hidden…”
Without seasonings, I can’t even remake the meals. Another day, another mediocre meal. It’s been almost a week since Garn stopped coming. Ah, how I miss the scent of the outside world. I really want to get out. But I wonder what Garn is doing. I was absentmindedly thinking about such things while sipping my soup. Is he working towards a solution as Aeclys said before? I hope that’s the case… In the end, being here means I don’t know anything at all.
“I hope everyone is okay.”
I have no idea if everyone is safe since no information from outside comes in at all. Hmm… There’s no use worrying!
“For now, the most important thing is to stay alive!”
To do that, I need to eat this tasteless food and sleep! After quickly finishing my meal, I decided to lie down and take another nap.
“Shuri, are you awake?”
…This guy always comes when I’m about to sleep. This is the second time, you know? As I sit up, I see Garn standing there with a solemn expression.
“I’m sorry. Were you about to sleep?” “…No, it’s fine.”
At times like these, be humble. Humble in consideration. It’s the sad nature of Japanese people.
“There’s something I want to tell you.” “Ah… Where’s Aeclys?” “The master doesn’t know about this. Prince Aeclys is currently confronting Prince Gyngus, the Second Prince.”
…Confronting? You mean Aeclys has a younger brother?
“I’ve confirmed your information about the wine glass. For some reason, Prince Gyngus’ wine glass wasn’t there, but the lord’s was. Prince Aeclys is heading to confront Prince Gyngus, who gave that gift, to confirm the facts and apprehend him.”
Huh? Even I can understand that this is nothing short of reckless.
“Why such a rash action? Even if they’re both the lord’s sons, we don’t know how the other side will react if we suddenly do something like that.” “We don’t have time. Do you remember? When Aeclys and I came a week ago?” “Yeah, more or less.”
You mean the time with the galette, right?
“At that time, Tegue learned the truth.” “Is Tegue here?!”
Damn, I have no idea what’s going on outside.
“He knows everything – our desire to join the mercenary group, the truth about the wine glasses, and the background of this incident. He knows all the information he should know.” “I see.”
Tegue is doing his job perfectly, huh.
“In other words, even though the problem was on our side, we arrested you for lèse-majesté and put Gungrave under house arrest. Gungrave is undoubtedly angry. Neither Aeclys nor I can escape to the mercenary group anymore. So we need to settle this, at least. We need to depose Prince Gyngus, give him the appropriate punishment, and hand over a large reward and territory. If we don’t do this, not only the lord but also Aeclys will be in danger. This is the current situation in this domain.”
Oh, the situation has become more serious than I thought…
“Wait, was Prince Gyngus the one who gave that wine glass?” “That’s right. To be honest, the lord has been suffering from a strange illness for a long time. When he grips iron in a state of physical exhaustion, that area turns red and starts itching. Just as you diagnosed.” “So it really was a metal allergy.”
I’m glad. It would have been terrible if he had continued using that wine glass. It’s good we were able to prevent it in advance. …Huh?
“Wait a minute. His son knew about this and deliberately…?” “That’s right. This is what we call a power struggle.”
A child cutting off their parent for power. I’ve only seen this in stories… I never thought I’d experience it in reality! I’m a bit scared and shaking.
“S-So, what do you intend to do by telling me all this, Garn?” “…Who knows.”
Eh?
“I’m already certain to die. Maybe I just wanted to create someone who knows the current situation and the truth before that happens.” “Garn is going to die?”
Huh? Why is this suddenly about dying?
“Let me tell you. I’m actually the lord’s son. The true firstborn.” “What?” “I’m a child born out of wedlock… between the lord and his mistress. My mother was a maid who became the lord’s lover. After I was born, due to the jealous scheming of the legal wife, my mother was exiled. I was recognized by my father… the lord, but I wasn’t given inheritance rights and was raised as a spy, an existence that couldn’t be made public.” “Eh, aren’t you a guard?” “I’m actually a spy. Guard is just a temporary position given to me to watch over you. After that, Aeclys was born from the concubine.” “So, so Aeclys and Garn are…” “Half-siblings… yes. And Aeclys is not a man. She’s a woman.”
Whaaaat?! W-Wait a minute!
“What a complicated family situation!” “Haha, if only it ended with just being complicated. Let me continue. The legal wife exiled the maid out of jealousy, but she couldn’t do the same to the concubine. If she tried to exile someone who had properly become a concubine, the legal wife would be held accountable for that crime. Besides, she was relieved that the child born was a girl. But that changed due to the lord’s decision. Aeclys is exceptionally skilled with numbers. She has unparalleled talent when it comes to domestic affairs. Noticing this, the lord decided to raise Aeclys as a man and groom her as the heir to the domain. It was around this time that the younger brother, Prince Gyngus, was born.”
This is getting a bit complicated!
“Aeclys, educated splendidly as the heir, specializing in domestic affairs. Prince Gyngus, of legitimate bloodline and well-versed in military tactics. What’s happening now in this domain is a power struggle between these two. And the culprit behind this incident can be said to be Prince Gyngus. The wine glass, the unjust arrest, putting our benefactor Gungrave and his group under house arrest. These are absolutely unforgivable actions. Also, I found out by washing away the information… You’re on good terms with Nouviche, right? While organizing the confiscated tools, I found a kitchen knife engraved with the Nouviche royal family’s crest. Just yesterday, a letter arrived from Nouviche. It said, ‘We are heading there.’ If this becomes known, it will have a massive impact on food imports. After all, we’ve unjustly arrested someone who was granted a royal crest. From their perspective, it’s an insult to someone close to them. An insult to someone granted a royal crest directly translates to an insult to the royal family. We’re out of time. The countdown to our destruction has already begun.”
Whaaaat? This domain has fallen into a critical situation without me knowing! The story has progressed without my knowledge and is heading towards its end without me knowing? I’ve never heard of anything like this anywhere! To be in the midst of an incident but be completely out of the loop in the story! It’s too lonely! Um… Is there really nothing I can do?
“Um, so what should I do?” “Can you do something?”
Garn asks with an exhausted face, but honestly, I don’t feel like I can do anything. Yeah, the most I can do is cook. And even then, it’s just ordinary home cooking. Except for kǎo rǔ zhū, I suppose.
“What can I possibly do?” “Well, you could become our hostage to prevent the Gungrave Mercenary Group from going out of control. Or use your cooking skills to mediate between both parties. Or maybe even marry Aeclys, and as a reward, hand over the domain and the right of succession to Gungrave. Something like that.” “If I sacrifice myself, will it resolve the situation?” “About sixty percent of it. The remaining forty percent won’t be resolved. Or rather, sixty percent will be resolved, but the remaining forty percent will become absolutely unsolvable.” “What about the remaining forty percent?” “Settling the emotions of the mercenary group members and their captains.”
Ah, I see. Administrative matters, the lord’s position, the form of rewards, dealing with Nouviche, consideration for the domain’s people. But what becomes a problem there isn’t logical talk. Emotional arguments come into play. If it’s Gungrave and the others, they’d probably say something like “Don’t mess with us!” if we tried to end it like this.
“But… if sixty percent can truly be resolved by my sacrifice, couldn’t the rest somehow be managed…?” “Do you think there’s anyone who would be satisfied with ending the incident by sacrificing a comrade who’s like family and has shared joys and sorrows? Moreover, you’re just a victim. It’s backwards for the victim to accept further harm to resolve the incident.”
Ugh, that’s true. Indeed, even if I endure it here, Gungrave and the others won’t be satisfied. Besides, if I tolerate the harm, the other side will just become more arrogant and get carried away.
“By the way, what do you really want by telling me all this?”
That’s the issue. Even if you tell me all this, in the end, there’s nothing I can do right now. I can’t even sacrifice myself. My cooking skills can’t be used here either. What do you want by telling the truth to such a useless person like me?
“Well… as I said earlier, I wanted to create someone who knows the truth. I wanted to increase the number of people who know about me, even if just by one. Only four people know the truth about me, who has been a behind-the-scenes person since birth: Aeclys, the lord, his legal wife, and the concubine. That’s too few, don’t you think? I thought it wouldn’t be bad to have one more person.” “Really?” “…When I die, I wanted someone to mourn for me. Probably, I’ll end up dying while accepting all the evil. At that time, I want someone to mourn for me out of goodwill, not malice.” “But why are we talking about you dying?” “I told you, didn’t I? I’m the lord’s son. Even if I’m born out of wedlock, I carry the lord’s blood. When the time comes, or rather, the time has already come, if I offer my head as a representative of the lord’s family, there’s a possibility that eighty percent of this can end.” “Do you think I’ll accept that?”
I know that even if I say something, it won’t solve anything. I understand that no matter what someone like me says here, this person will act methodically. But I can’t help but speak up. I don’t want to silently accept and send Garn off when he’s right in front of me saying he’s going to die.
“Don’t make such a grim face.”
Garn was smiling.
“I’m quite satisfied.” “Why?” “Somehow, I didn’t think you’d say that. I thought, maybe this is what it’s like to have a friend. It feels nice to have someone worry about you.” “What are you saying?”
I’ve been thinking this for a long time.
“We are friends.”
Eating meals together, laughing and talking. Isn’t that what friends do? Garn looks utterly surprised.
“Friends, huh?” “Yes, friends.” “Me and you?” “You and me.”
I consider us friends. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to talk so openly like this.
“I’ve lived my life in the shadows. I’m not shining brightly like you. Someone like me has no place standing next to you.” “What do you mean by ‘shadows’?”
Garn said those words while looking down. But I think that’s wrong.
“You know, I think… The darkness that people carry is like a hole in their heart. It’s called darkness because light doesn’t reach that hole, making it pitch black. But the holes in our hearts are different from wounds. Wounds leave scars even after they heal. Holes can be filled. By living happily with friends, eating delicious food. If we pile up happy and joyful memories and experiences, we can fill those holes. Didn’t you have fun, Garn? If I seem to be shining, it’s just because you’ve come out into the light and your eyes are dazzled.”
I think Garn is no longer concerned about darkness or light. He’s already someone who can talk with a friend like this. He’s standing right next to me. The only thing blocking us is the iron bars in front of us.
“…I see. So I was already in the light, huh.”
A voice barely above a whisper. Garn raised his face and looked at me. He looked into my eyes with tears streaming down his face. Without even wiping away the tears that kept falling.
“You know, I envy you. Your cooking is amazing, you’re cheerful. Even in this situation, you’re not despairing. I think you’re incredible. To eat and laugh with someone like that through prison bars. I’m weird, aren’t I?” “I envied you too. You’re strong and robust. Living through harsh realities, yet still surviving. I was happy to be able to eat meals and laugh with someone like you, even if it was through prison bars. It made me truly happy.”
I finally managed to express my true feelings. Both Garn and I envied each other. I wanted strength. In the mercenary group, all I could do was cook and watch the backs of my comrades as they went off to fight. Even so, because cooking was all I could do, I became desperate about it.
Garn wanted a normal life. Rather than a bloody life revolving around political schemes. He wanted trivial daily life, peaceful days. Even so, because fighting was all he could do. He desperately carved out a path and survived.
We both wanted what the other had.
“I…” “Garn. Is there still darkness, a hole in your heart?” “…Yeah. You’re right. It’s not bad. Now that you mention it, I really don’t feel it anymore.” “Do you want to die?” “…I”
Garn. Please tell me the truth.
“I want to live.”
If that’s your wish. I’ll do what I can do. My power alone surely won’t be enough. So let’s face this cruel fate together. You and me.
This is the true beginning for Garn and me.
Check out my Patreon for early access to upcoming updates. Patreon Link
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Chapter 32
Situations are ever-changing entities.
Huh? Not “things”?
No, entities. It’s like “people”.
They grow, deteriorate, do good things, or head in a bad direction without us noticing.
And before I knew it, I was caught up in it.
To think I’d be in the midst of a chaotic battlefield.
It never occurred to me, being spoiled by peace and always staying behind everyone else.
And now, my true worth was being tested here and now.
It’s just another day in my prison life.
Hello, it’s Shuri here.
It’s been almost a week since Aeclys came.
Recently, neither Garn nor Aeclys have been visiting.
Moreover, even the person who brings my meals has changed and doesn’t say a word.
The food hasn’t changed either. It’s as plain as ever.
“Well, I guess I’ve finally run out of the seasonings I had hidden…”
Without seasonings, I can’t even remake the meals.
Another day, another mediocre meal.
It’s been almost a week since Garn stopped coming.
Ah, how I miss the scent of the outside world. I really want to get out.
But I wonder what Garn is doing.
I was absentmindedly thinking about such things while sipping my soup.
Is he working towards a solution as Aeclys said before?
I hope that’s the case…
In the end, being here means I don’t know anything at all.
“I hope everyone is okay.”
I have no idea if everyone is safe since no information from outside comes in at all.
Hmm…
There’s no use worrying!
“For now, the most important thing is to stay alive!”
To do that, I need to eat this tasteless food and sleep!
After quickly finishing my meal, I decided to lie down and take another nap.
“Shuri, are you awake?”
…This guy always comes when I’m about to sleep. This is the second time, you know?
As I sit up, I see Garn standing there with a solemn expression.
“I’m sorry. Were you about to sleep?”
“…No, it’s fine.”
At times like these, be humble. Humble in consideration.
It’s the sad nature of Japanese people.
“There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Ah… Where’s Aeclys?”
“The master doesn’t know about this.
Prince Aeclys is currently confronting Prince Gyngus, the Second Prince.”
…Confronting?
You mean Aeclys has a younger brother?
“I’ve confirmed your information about the wine glass.
For some reason, Prince Gyngus’ wine glass wasn’t there, but the lord’s was.
Prince Aeclys is heading to confront Prince Gyngus, who gave that gift, to confirm the facts and apprehend him.”
Huh?
Even I can understand that this is nothing short of reckless.
“Why such a rash action?
Even if they’re both the lord’s sons, we don’t know how the other side will react if we suddenly do something like that.”
“We don’t have time.
Do you remember? When Aeclys and I came a week ago?”
“Yeah, more or less.”
You mean the time with the galette, right?
“At that time, Tegue learned the truth.”
“Is Tegue here?!”
Damn, I have no idea what’s going on outside.
“He knows everything – our desire to join the mercenary group, the truth about the wine glasses, and the background of this incident.
He knows all the information he should know.”
“I see.”
Tegue is doing his job perfectly, huh.
“In other words, even though the problem was on our side, we arrested you for lèse-majesté and put Gungrave under house arrest.
Gungrave is undoubtedly angry.
Neither Aeclys nor I can escape to the mercenary group anymore.
So we need to settle this, at least.
We need to depose Prince Gyngus, give him the appropriate punishment, and hand over a large reward and territory.
If we don’t do this, not only the lord but also Aeclys will be in danger.
This is the current situation in this domain.”
Oh, the situation has become more serious than I thought…
“Wait, was Prince Gyngus the one who gave that wine glass?”
“That’s right.
To be honest, the lord has been suffering from a strange illness for a long time.
When he grips iron in a state of physical exhaustion, that area turns red and starts itching.
Just as you diagnosed.”
“So it really was a metal allergy.”
I’m glad. It would have been terrible if he had continued using that wine glass. It’s good we were able to prevent it in advance.
…Huh?
“Wait a minute.
His son knew about this and deliberately…?”
“That’s right. This is what we call a power struggle.”
A child cutting off their parent for power.
I’ve only seen this in stories…
I never thought I’d experience it in reality!
I’m a bit scared and shaking.
“S-So, what do you intend to do by telling me all this, Garn?”
“…Who knows.”
Eh?
“I’m already certain to die.
Maybe I just wanted to create someone who knows the current situation and the truth before that happens.”
“Garn is going to die?”
Huh? Why is this suddenly about dying?
“Let me tell you. I’m actually the lord’s son. The true firstborn.”
“What?”
“I’m a child born out of wedlock… between the lord and his mistress.
My mother was a maid who became the lord’s lover.
After I was born, due to the jealous scheming of the legal wife, my mother was exiled.
I was recognized by my father… the lord, but I wasn’t given inheritance rights and was raised as a spy, an existence that couldn’t be made public.”
“Eh, aren’t you a guard?”
“I’m actually a spy. Guard is just a temporary position given to me to watch over you.
After that, Aeclys was born from the concubine.”
“So, so Aeclys and Garn are…”
“Half-siblings… yes. And Aeclys is not a man.
She’s a woman.”
Whaaaat?!
W-Wait a minute!
“What a complicated family situation!”
“Haha, if only it ended with just being complicated. Let me continue.
The legal wife exiled the maid out of jealousy, but she couldn’t do the same to the concubine. If she tried to exile someone who had properly become a concubine, the legal wife would be held accountable for that crime.
Besides, she was relieved that the child born was a girl.
But that changed due to the lord’s decision.
Aeclys is exceptionally skilled with numbers. She has unparalleled talent when it comes to domestic affairs.
Noticing this, the lord decided to raise Aeclys as a man and groom her as the heir to the domain.
It was around this time that the younger brother, Prince Gyngus, was born.”
This is getting a bit complicated!
“Aeclys, educated splendidly as the heir, specializing in domestic affairs.
Prince Gyngus, of legitimate bloodline and well-versed in military tactics.
What’s happening now in this domain is a power struggle between these two.
And the culprit behind this incident can be said to be Prince Gyngus.
The wine glass, the unjust arrest, putting our benefactor Gungrave and his group under house arrest.
These are absolutely unforgivable actions.
Also, I found out by washing away the information…
You’re on good terms with Nouviche, right?
While organizing the confiscated tools, I found a kitchen knife engraved with the Nouviche royal family’s crest.
Just yesterday, a letter arrived from Nouviche.
It said, ‘We are heading there.’
If this becomes known, it will have a massive impact on food imports.
After all, we’ve unjustly arrested someone who was granted a royal crest.
From their perspective, it’s an insult to someone close to them.
An insult to someone granted a royal crest directly translates to an insult to the royal family.
We’re out of time.
The countdown to our destruction has already begun.”
Whaaaat?
This domain has fallen into a critical situation without me knowing!
The story has progressed without my knowledge and is heading towards its end without me knowing?
I’ve never heard of anything like this anywhere!
To be in the midst of an incident but be completely out of the loop in the story!
It’s too lonely!
Um…
Is there really nothing I can do?
“Um, so what should I do?”
“Can you do something?”
Garn asks with an exhausted face, but honestly, I don’t feel like I can do anything.
Yeah, the most I can do is cook.
And even then, it’s just ordinary home cooking.
Except for kǎo rǔ zhū, I suppose.
“What can I possibly do?”
“Well, you could become our hostage to prevent the Gungrave Mercenary Group from going out of control.
Or use your cooking skills to mediate between both parties.
Or maybe even marry Aeclys, and as a reward, hand over the domain and the right of succession to Gungrave.
Something like that.”
“If I sacrifice myself, will it resolve the situation?”
“About sixty percent of it. The remaining forty percent won’t be resolved. Or rather, sixty percent will be resolved, but the remaining forty percent will become absolutely unsolvable.”
“What about the remaining forty percent?”
“Settling the emotions of the mercenary group members and their captains.”
Ah, I see.
Administrative matters, the lord’s position, the form of rewards, dealing with Nouviche, consideration for the domain’s people.
But what becomes a problem there isn’t logical talk.
Emotional arguments come into play.
If it’s Gungrave and the others, they’d probably say something like “Don’t mess with us!” if we tried to end it like this.
“But… if sixty percent can truly be resolved by my sacrifice, couldn’t the rest somehow be managed…?”
“Do you think there’s anyone who would be satisfied with ending the incident by sacrificing a comrade who’s like family and has shared joys and sorrows?
Moreover, you’re just a victim.
It’s backwards for the victim to accept further harm to resolve the incident.”
Ugh, that’s true.
Indeed, even if I endure it here, Gungrave and the others won’t be satisfied.
Besides, if I tolerate the harm, the other side will just become more arrogant and get carried away.
“By the way, what do you really want by telling me all this?”
That’s the issue.
Even if you tell me all this, in the end, there’s nothing I can do right now.
I can’t even sacrifice myself.
My cooking skills can’t be used here either.
What do you want by telling the truth to such a useless person like me?
“Well… as I said earlier, I wanted to create someone who knows the truth.
I wanted to increase the number of people who know about me, even if just by one.
Only four people know the truth about me, who has been a behind-the-scenes person since birth: Aeclys, the lord, his legal wife, and the concubine.
That’s too few, don’t you think?
I thought it wouldn’t be bad to have one more person.”
“Really?”
“…When I die, I wanted someone to mourn for me.
Probably, I’ll end up dying while accepting all the evil.
At that time, I want someone to mourn for me out of goodwill, not malice.”
“But why are we talking about you dying?”
“I told you, didn’t I? I’m the lord’s son. Even if I’m born out of wedlock, I carry the lord’s blood.
When the time comes, or rather, the time has already come, if I offer my head as a representative of the lord’s family, there’s a possibility that eighty percent of this can end.”
“Do you think I’ll accept that?”
I know that even if I say something, it won’t solve anything.
I understand that no matter what someone like me says here, this person will act methodically.
But I can’t help but speak up.
I don’t want to silently accept and send Garn off when he’s right in front of me saying he’s going to die.
“Don’t make such a grim face.”
Garn was smiling.
“I’m quite satisfied.”
“Why?”
“Somehow, I didn’t think you’d say that.
I thought, maybe this is what it’s like to have a friend.
It feels nice to have someone worry about you.”
“What are you saying?”
I’ve been thinking this for a long time.
“We are friends.”
Eating meals together, laughing and talking.
Isn’t that what friends do?
Garn looks utterly surprised.
“Friends, huh?”
“Yes, friends.”
“Me and you?”
“You and me.”
I consider us friends.
If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to talk so openly like this.
“I’ve lived my life in the shadows.
I’m not shining brightly like you.
Someone like me has no place standing next to you.”
“What do you mean by ‘shadows’?”
Garn said those words while looking down.
But I think that’s wrong.
“You know, I think…
The darkness that people carry is like a hole in their heart.
It’s called darkness because light doesn’t reach that hole, making it pitch black.
But the holes in our hearts are different from wounds. Wounds leave scars even after they heal.
Holes can be filled.
By living happily with friends, eating delicious food.
If we pile up happy and joyful memories and experiences, we can fill those holes.
Didn’t you have fun, Garn?
If I seem to be shining, it’s just because you’ve come out into the light and your eyes are dazzled.”
I think Garn is no longer concerned about darkness or light.
He’s already someone who can talk with a friend like this.
He’s standing right next to me.
The only thing blocking us is the iron bars in front of us.
“…I see. So I was already in the light, huh.”
A voice barely above a whisper.
Garn raised his face and looked at me.
He looked into my eyes with tears streaming down his face.
Without even wiping away the tears that kept falling.
“You know, I envy you.
Your cooking is amazing, you’re cheerful.
Even in this situation, you’re not despairing.
I think you’re incredible.
To eat and laugh with someone like that through prison bars.
I’m weird, aren’t I?”
“I envied you too.
You’re strong and robust.
Living through harsh realities, yet still surviving.
I was happy to be able to eat meals and laugh with someone like you, even if it was through prison bars.
It made me truly happy.”
I finally managed to express my true feelings.
Both Garn and I envied each other.
I wanted strength.
In the mercenary group, all I could do was cook and watch the backs of my comrades as they went off to fight.
Even so, because cooking was all I could do, I became desperate about it.
Garn wanted a normal life.
Rather than a bloody life revolving around political schemes.
He wanted trivial daily life, peaceful days.
Even so, because fighting was all he could do.
He desperately carved out a path and survived.
We both wanted what the other had.
“I…”
“Garn. Is there still darkness, a hole in your heart?”
“…Yeah. You’re right.
It’s not bad. Now that you mention it, I really don’t feel it anymore.”
“Do you want to die?”
“…I”
Garn. Please tell me the truth.
“I want to live.”
If that’s your wish.
I’ll do what I can do.
My power alone surely won’t be enough.
So let’s face this cruel fate together.
You and me.
This is the true beginning for Garn and me.
Check out my Patreon for early access to upcoming updates. Patreon Link
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